Dog Haiku

03/29/2006 00:30 Filed in: Miscellaneous
These are not original to me. I was going through some old documents and came across this collection. But if dogs could write, and if they chose to write haikus, I really believe they would sound like these--especially if a dog is as silly as our Bessie (pictured to the right).

These haikus will only mean something to you if you own and/or like dogs. Otherwise, please move along...

I love my master;
Thus I perfume myself with
This long-rotten squirrel.

I lie belly-up
In the sunshine, happier than
You ever will be

Today I sniffed
Many dog butts--I celebrate
By kissing your face.

I sound the alarm!
Paperboy--come to kill us all--
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Mailman Fiend--come to kill us all--
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Meter reader--come to kill all--
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Garbage man-come to kill us all--
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Neighbor's cat--come to kill us all!
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I lift my leg and
Wiz on each bush. Hello, Spot -
Sniff this and weep

My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I have
Made a puddle

Sleeping here, my chin
On your foot -- no greater bliss -- well,
Maybe catching cats

Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you as much I do

The cat is not all
Bad--she fills the litter box
With Tootsie Rolls

Dig under fence--why?
Because it's there. Because it's
There. Because it's there.

I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating.