g3head.tk

Quotes
"I love humanity, it's people I don't like." -- Charles Schulz
"The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself." -- Ben Franklin
"A true patriot must always be ready to defend his country against it's government." -- Thomas Jefferson
"The two most abundant things in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity." -- Harlan Ellison
"The day that you die will be like any other day... only shorter." -- Samuel Beckett
"I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it." -- Mae West
"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure" -- Samuel Clemens
"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I've found it!) but 'That's funny...'" -- Isaac Asimov
"If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have to at least consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family anatidae on our hands." -- Douglas Adams
"When life hands you a lemon, say 'Oh yeah, I _like_ lemons. What else ya got??'" - Henry Rollins
"There is no idea so good it can't be ruined by a few well-placed idiots." -- Scott Adams, "Dilbert" creator
"The only time my education was interrupted was when I was in school." -- George Bernard Shaw
"A leader takes people where they want to go. A great leader takes people where they don't necessarily want to go, but ought to be." -- Rosalyn Carter
"Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book." -- Ronald Reagan
"History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives." -- Abba Eban
"He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever." -- Chinese proverb
"I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals." -- Winston Churchill
"For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism." -- Harrison's postulate
"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy." -- Ernest Benn
"Life is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, and the lesson afterward."
"As long as you're going to be thinking anyway, think big." -- Donald Trump
"The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing that you will make one." -- Elbert Hubbard
"Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day. Wisdom consists in not exceeding the limit." -- Elbert Hubbard
"Whether you believe you can or believe you can't, either way you're right." -- Henry Ford
"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here - this is the War Room!" -- Dr. Strangelove
"The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell" -- Confucious
"The more I learn, the more I learn how little I know." -- Socrates
"Winning isn't everything, but wanting to win is." -- Vince Lombardi
"Out of clutter, find simplicity." -- Albert Einstein
"The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them." -- Albert Einstein
"Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of congress. But I repeat myself." -- Mark Twain
"Some innovations that would truly benefit consumers never occur for the sole reason that they do not coincide with Microsoft's self-interest." -- Thomas Penfield Jackson, U.S. District Judge
"DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form." -- New York Times, November 26, 1991
"To create a new standard it takes something that's not just a little bit different. It takes something that's really new and really captures people's imagination. And the Macintosh, of all the machines I've ever seen, is the only one that meets that standard." -- Bill Gates
"You recommend Macs to your friends, and Intel machines to those whom you don't mind billing by the hour." -- Anonymous
"Macintosh - we might not get everything right, but at least we knew the century was going to end." -- Douglas Adams, Author
"Bill Gates is just a monocle and a Persian Cat away from being one of the bad guys in a James Bond movie." -- Dennis Miller
"Mac users swear by their computers. PC users swear at their computers." -- Anonymous
"Big egos are big shields for lots of empty space." Diana Black
"Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused." Anonymous
"Anyone who isn't confused really doesn't understand the situation." Edward R. Murrow
"As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it." D. Cavett
"Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth." Will Rogers
"Cheer up, the worst is yet to come." Philander Johnson
"Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners." Anonymous
"Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said." Anonymous
"Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen." Albert Einstein
"Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that someone might be looking." H. L. Mencken
"Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater." Albert Einstein
"Don't be so humble, you're not that great." Golda Meir
"Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing." Anonymous
"Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures." Henry Ward Beecher
"Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die." Joe Louis
"Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others." Winston Churchill
"Everyone is a genius at least once a year. The real geniuses simply have their bright ideas closer together." G.C. Lichtenberg
"Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else." Will Rogers
"Everything should be as simple as it is, but not simpler." Albert Einstein
"Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it." Lewis Carroll
"Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards." Anonymous
"Experience is not what happens to you. It is what you do with what happens to you." Aldous Huxley
"Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes." Oscar Wilde
"Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again." F.P. Jones
"Finally, in conclusion, let me say just this." Peter Sellers
"Find out what you like doing best and get someone to pay you for doing it." Katherine Whitehorn
"Go away...I'm alright." H. G. Wells's last words
"Drink to me" Pablo Picasso's last words
"Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love." Albert Einstein
"Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half." Gore Vidal
"Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save." Will Rogers
"Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted." Fred Allen
"Happiness is just an illusion caused by the temporary absence of reality." Anonymous
"Happiness: An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another." Anonymous
"He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever." Chinese proverb
"He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." Nietzsche
"History will be kind to me for I intend to write it." Winston Churchill
"I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally." W.C. Fields
"I can resist everything except temptation." Oscar Wilde
"I didn't think; I experimented." Wilhelm Roentgen
"I do not seek, I find." Pablo Picasso
"I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again." Bart Simpson
"I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts." Will Rogers
"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying." Woody Allen
"I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it." Ashleigh Brilliant
"I had always loved beautiful and artistic things, though before leaving America I had had a very little chance of seeing any." Emma Albani
"I had rather be right than be President." Henry Clay
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." Thomas Edison
"I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals." Winston Churchill
"I like the word 'indolence'. It makes my laziness seem classy." Bern Williams
"I'm sorry, but I never apologise." K. Blake
"I never think of the future. It comes soon enough." Albert Einstein
"I still live." Daniel Webster's last words
"I think, therefore I am -- I think." Howard Schneider
"If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door." Paul Beatty
"If I seem to give a damn, please tell me. I would hate to be giving the wrong impression." Haythum R. Khalid
"If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy people?" Anonymous
"If the human mind was simple enough to understand, we'd be too simple to understand it." Emerson Pugh
"If you are going to do something wrong at least enjoy it." Leo Rosten
"If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars." J. Paul Getty
"If you can spend a perfectly useless afternoon in a perfectly useless manner, you have learned how to live." Lin Yutang
"If you can't convince them, confuse them." Harry S. Truman
"If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly." Ashleigh Brilliant
"Imagination is more important than knowledge." Albert Einstein
"In my end is my beginning." T.S. Eliot
"It is always the best policy to tell the truth, unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar." Jerome K. Jerome
"It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit." Harry S. Truman
"It is by the fortune of God that, in this country, we have three benefits: freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and the wisdom never to use either." Mark Twain
"It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them." Alfred Adler
"It takes a long time to understand nothing." Edward Dahlberg
"It takes great cleverness to be able to conceal one's cleverness." Duc De La Rochefoucauld
"It takes less time to do a thing right than explain why you did it wrong." Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
"It's good to know that if I behave strangely enough, society will take full responsibility for me." Ashleigh Brilliant
"It's more than a game. It's an institution." Thomas Hughes
"If you will practice being fictional for a while, you will understand that fictional characters are sometimes more real than people with bodies and heartbeats." Richard Bach -- "Illusions"
"The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes." Winston Churchill
"The price of greatness is responsibility." Winston Churchill
"Nothing pains some people more than having to think." Martin Luther King, Jr.
"If this is the future of earth science, I want off this planet" Mark Welker (me) to my science teacher remarking on my peers abilities.
"If someone intelegent comes along and tells me why this is a good idea, I'll be all for it" Bill Church, Superentendent of Mount Airy City Schools
"There are 10 types of people on this Earth. Those who understand binary, and those who don't'" ThinkGeek.com tshirt
"Is that a laptop? Is that your laptop? Can I check some porn sites on your laptop?" Moron at school
"It hurts" Jacob Martin "When using the internet at school you are not allowed to download anything" School internet policy (Yes its an oxymoron, Thank you for downloading this page.)
"Its good for a school computer, It's only got 16 virus on it!" Mrs. Nichols (Competent CAD/Computer Engineering Technology Techer)
"He wouldn't know WiFi from HiFi" Mark Welker (me) refering to my schools official tech guy
Indecision may, or may not be my problem! -- Jimmy Buffett
Why don't you fix your little problem... and light this candle? -- Alan Shepherd
"One size fits all": Doesn't fit anyone. -- Slashdot
"Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality." -- Dalai Lama
"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure." -- Mark Twain
"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man." George Bernard Shaw
It's not the bullet with my name on it that bothers me. It's all those addressed "To whom it may concern:" Captain 'Mal' Renyolds (Firefly)
"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning." Rich Cook.
"Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers." Leonard Brandwein.
"If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either." Dick Cavett.
"I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets." Dave Edison.
"I have decided to move from the planet. I'm sorry but I simply cannot remain on a world where Paris Hilton is allowed to publish "memoirs". - Alton Brown (I sincerely agree)
"I'm glad that I'm a pedesterian because I don't have to pull over to the side of the side walk when a fire truck goes by." - Robert Brodrecht
"I know this defies the law of gravity, but I never studied law!" - Bugs Bunny
"My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law." - Jerry Seinfield
"If I wanted a long, boring story with no point to it, I've got my life." - Jerry Seinfield
"Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water." - W.C. Fields
"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life." - Terry Pratchett.
"If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough." - Mario Andretti.
"Whoever said 'nothings impossible' never tried to nail jell-o to a tree" - Lisa Bryant
"Nobody goes to that restaurant anymore, it's too crowded." Yogi Berra
"You can observe a lot by watching." Yogi Berra
"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you." Rita Mae Brown.
"Mostly, when you see programmers, they aren't doing anything. One of the attractive things about programmers is that you cannot tell whether or not they are working simply by looking at them. Very often they're sitting there seemingly drinking coffee and gossiping, or just staring into space. What the programmer is trying to do is get a handle on all the individual and unrelated ideas that are scampering around in his head." - Charles M Strauss
"The only thing more frightening than a programmer with a screwdriver or a hardware engineer with a program is a user with a pair of wire cutters and the root password." - Elizabeth Zwicky
"Being a social outcast helps you stay concentrated on the really important things, like thinking and hacking." - Eric Raymond
"People that think logically are a nice contrast to the real world." - Matt Biershbach
"If your project doesn't work, look for the part that you didn't think was important." - Arthur Bloch
"Computer science education cannot make anybody an expert programmer any more than studying brushes and pigment can make somebody an expert painter." - Eric Raymond
"A plumber has around eight years training in the US. That's to fix my goddamn toilet. Yet, how much training do you have to do to be allowed to build software for a plane carrying hundreds of people?" - James Coplien
"The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents." - Nathaniel Borenstein
"Sometimes the best engineers come in bodies that can't talk." - Nolan Bushnell
"Perfectionism is Procrastination Masquerading as Quality Control."--Steven Barnes
"The idea that if kids wear uniforms to school, it helps keep order Ñ bad theory. And itÕs not even a new idea; I first saw it in old newsreels from the 1930s, but it was hard to understand, because the narration was in German." - George Carlin
"But it does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods or no God. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg." - Thomas Jefferson
"If we did a good act merely from love of God and a belief that it is pleasing to Him, whence arises the morality of the Atheist? ...Their virtue, then, must have had some other foundation than the love of God." - Thomas Jefferson
"My software never has bugs. It just develops random features." - Unknown
"I'm not anti-social; I'm just not user friendly" Unknown
This page created By Mark Welker for his site at http://homepage.mac.com/g3head with BBEdit Lite, a Mac, and iCab.